“So how’s your night going?”

“Well I went from contemplating suicide to laughing so hard I farted in about 15 minutes.”

snazziest:

I’m reading your palm and it says it belongs on my butt

(via vodkakilledtheteen)

prolusion:

you’re adorable fuck me against a wall

(via beautifuloregonvibes)

ju-ke:

i’m tasteless but so is water and we all need that

(via c-teardrops)

xld:

If you’re not 6 feet and taller, and making the dollar you shouldn’t holler

hi:

stop sending me smiley faces unless we’re gonna have sex

(via c-teardrops)

alchemists:

moment of silence for all my wasted potential

(via dropinonly)

misterchekov:

reblog if your dick is longer than your arm

(via naomi-clarks-blog)